The power of having someone to talk to when you are down and confused cannot be underestimated. On ther other hand you must have a realtionship with your own inner wants and needs. You cannot be pulled off your path by friends or mentors’s advice.

The power of a friend is not that they will tell you what to do, but rather that they can settle your emotions and feelings and show you that you can be yourself.

When you talk to others the focus is on empowering them to have the courage to take the next step for themselves. Do not be tempted to become attached to an outcome for them. The other person seems to be asking your advice, but really he is asking you to believe in him. He needs to do the advice that fits his soul, and usually our advice is too tainted with our personal bias to be truth for them. Even if you had the right advice for your friend he often needs to come to it himself for it to be helpful. Be the rock for them to push off of.

Why is it important to give others guidance? We all have a part of ourselves that looks to others for help, not being available as a help yourself is an act of egoism, it seems to be saying I am not worthy of being your support, but really it is putting yourself higher than others. No one is looking for you to be something special, or exalted. Be a friend. Do not pretend that you need do not need that either, and do not pretend that you are not able to be that. By refusing to be a friend you are invalidating you’re need and theirs.

Summary:

  • We all need friends.
  • You need to be there for others when they need it.
  • You need others to be there for you sometimes.
  • The focus of being there for someone is not that they should follow your advice, but rather that you give them the support they need in their journey.

How do you do this well for someone?

  • Listen.
  • Understand them.
  • Repeat what they said in different words.
  • Ask questions.
  • Invite them to challenge their self made limitations.
  • Explore options with them.

Remember:

  • Be the rock for them to push off of.
  • Know the balance of being helped versus leading your own path.
  • Be a friend.

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