The balance between simply being unconditionally present, and being responsible.
A child needs to learn responsibility. His roles, his obligations. He must earn, and deserve, but the child in a different way critically and crucially needs a love and acceptance that is infinite.
We prepare for shabbat, but once it is shabbat it no longer matters.
Great people hold large powerful roles of responsibility in God’s world, but their inner strength taps from a subterranean flow of pure unconditional love.
The truth is that the level of unconditional love is really more true, a parent has loved their child from before the baby was born, and will continue through any mistake to harbor that love. This relating quality is the one we long for, but it paradoxically can only be appreciated by accepting our roles and duties.
Only by hard work does the marriage reach golden maturity, but the love will have been unconditional and unchanging in its deepest nature from the first day.
The same by a parent, and the same by God.
HERE IS THE LESSON
You need to cultivate a strong bond of infinite unconditional love as your baseline. In all your relationships the foundation needs to be ‘the pure being in me is one with the pure being in you’. When we get too involved in roles, and needs, and deserving we lose the spirit of life.
There is so much to learn more in this idea, perhaps we will learn the teaching together soon.
Rabbi Dovid Baars
There is a story that really hits me; it is one of my favorite stories. This is from Rebbe Nachman who was unique and famous for his original stories.
Once, the king’s son believed he was a turkey. He would act exactly as if he was a turkey, gobbling under the table naked, and eating scraps from the floor. Of course the king was beyond himself, he did not know what to do, and brought in every expert and specialist to help his child, but nothing helped.
One day a wise man came to the capital city and paid a visit to the king. He heard about the Turkey Prince as the king’s son was known. The wise man begged an audience with the king and said “you have nothing to lose, let me try to help your son, but you must not interfere”. The king agreed.
On the first day the man observed the prince naked on the floor, and after some time the wise man removed his own clothes and joined the royal child. The prince was surprised and said “what are you doing here?!” The man answered “I am a turkey.”
The two spent a few days on the floor like this, then one day the wise man sat down on the floor wearing pants. The prince was unsure, but the man assured him that “even turkeys can wear pants.”
After another few days the wise man wore a shirt, assuring the prince “turkeys can wear shirts too if they want.”
This continued until the prince appeared fully cured.
This story says so much.
- Act on what is right even if you do not fully integrate the belief. The prince believes himself to be a turkey, but even turkeys can go to work. Strive to do what is right and true even if you have not begun to feel that it is good and sweet. A friend of mine in a rebellious teenager phase of life recalled to me how the great rabbi Rav Noah Weinberg asked him why he wasn’t doing what he believed to be right and true, with no answer besides him being a teenager Rav Noah bellowed “So dance dummy!“
- The power of rock bottom. The change came when being a turkey for the rest of the prince’s life was fully accepted by the king, the wise man, and even the prince. Often the fear of the worst case scenario paralyzes, and keeps any real progress far away. As we all know no one changes until they are accepted. Recently while coaching a young man we both burst into laughter after touching with absolute acceptance his worst fears.
There are many more lessons to be gleaned, but it is almost shabbat here in Beit Meir, Israel and my wife Leah could really use my help.
May you really find your soulmate those of us married and those not yet married, in this shabbat we read about Yitzchak finding his wife Rivka.
Rabbi Dovid Baars
The greater a person is the more simple he holds himself.
The paradox is that the higher a person reaches, and the more he knows the more he realizes his absolute smallness next to God.
In this process the greater he becomes the more he becomes comfortable with The World Of Being. This would be metaphorically similar to an adult returning to a child’s serenity, curiosity and joy. As the great man progresses he grows in simple joy and being.
How often have i been in a seminar and older men with incredible achievements came to the jarring, forceful knowledge that all the great they had been doing had not been accompanied by any simplicity, or Being! It is like getting to the top of the mountain and realizing you need to go back for something critically important. Something that is more important than the rest of the trip.
There are places in life when this relationship of Being to Doing becomes poignant: A son working for his father’s approval, a wife longing for her husband’s support more than his paycheck, an obedient or rebellious child wanting his mother’s acceptance and love.
When great people access this simplicity they are in a sense finding the Godly love of the universe which is unconditional. Similar to a child secure in his parents unconditional love.
A settled mind, quiet spirit, and peaceful soul are all one needs even in poverty, and all the treasures of the world would be pitifully aggravating without these accompanying them.
I bless you and please bless me to find on your level the utter simplicity of yourself. That in some small awfully truthful way you become just you with no achievements or prideful thoughts. That you be simple and truthful.